Sam I am

I was asked to participate in a "get to know you" the real you girls group...

Uh, I don't know any of these ladies, I mean no real disrespect but Who fuckin cares "who I really am" in the past I would have made up a bunch of fanciful crap and walked out of there laughing. I decided that this time I will be blatently honest and walk out of there laughing AT MYSELF!

So they asked to us to write down 73 things about ourselves that people couldn't/wouldn't guess about us.. The good bad and ugly..

I said"
1. Sorry folks I HATE dogs.. hate'em.. I would NEVER hurt one I just would never own one.
2. Dogs SCARE the PISS out of me!! Yes even the little pip squeaks!! Barker no BARKING!!
3. I married for the wedding and to be "SAVED"
4. I love to read true crime.
5. I don't like my brothers wife.. OH BOY!!
6. I don't like ice cream. or cookies.
7. I am overly critical but silently.
8. STUPID questions will make me BOIL with sarcasm.
9. I never reach my goals.
10. Sarcasm is my core. I think its hiding something though...?? hmm I will look into this with my monthly thoughts guru..
11. I RARELY have a period. no I'm not pregnant.
12. I am actually very smart.
13. I love silence
14. I love flip flops
15. I would drive a Volkswagen for the rest of my life... Even if it was the same one forever.
16. My family thinks I am horribly mean.
17. My boyfriends family thinks I am a godsend.
18. I dread the day (we've been dating 2.5 years) our families meet!!
19. I had an upbringing, nothing fantastic nothing notable really.
20. My most embarrassing moment was: PISSING my pants TOTALLY drunk my freshman year (I think) of highschool at a friends aunts house! oh wait and being buried up to my neck again TOTALLY drunk at the beach on spring break sophomore (I think) year.
21. I have been in love 3 times.
22. I lie on occasion.
23. I have cheated before.
24. Road trips are my ultimate dream.
25. I hate working...
26. I stole a package of barrettes when I was twelve. Security ran out after my sister and I, and I put the barrettes in her bag so I wouldn't get in trouble... (NO COMMENTS!! I was ONLY 12)
27. Seafood is my favorite.
28. I had sex for the first time at 17. and I hated it.
29. My biggest turn on is kindness. "honey.. go be nice to that old lady"..GRRR
30. I am a natural born investigator.
31. I can be mean and horribly mischievous! Sorry its true!
32. I name all my cats human names.. Ethel, Norman, Cleo, James, Tasha, Morris there have been many more.
33. I am 100% self conscious and uncomfortable with myself.
34. I can't stand my mother when we are in her home together.
35. I miss my brothers companionship now that we are all "grow'd" up.
36. I hate baby talk.
37. I think Natalee Holloway is dead... Sad but I think she is very dead. I hope her parents get the support and confirmations they are looking for.. You go Mrs. Twitty!! Don't leave that island until you can bring your baby home, dead or alive.
38. D has taught me more than I have ever anticipated.. I am really dumb about certain things in this world.
39. Divorce was one of the best things to ever happen to me.
40. Marriage was one the best things to ever happen to me.
41. I know now, what I didn't know then. And I am still young enough to use this information.
42. My kids think I am the BEST!!
43. I think my kids are the BEST!! and damn cute too!
44. I make shit up when I don't know.
45. Saying "I don't know" when I actually do is a bad habit.
46. I never engage in political, religious or opinionated conversation.
47. Strong but so VERY weak.
48. I could no joke ride my bike from Colorado to Oregon. I think my legs have endless energy.
49. I am OVERLY compassionate. I will give anyone anything I can if they need it!!
50. Suspicion keeps me BUSY!!
51. I am ADDICTED to MTV's The REAL WORLD.
52. I love a spotless house.
53. I am very creative.
54. I like to make homemade gifts rather than store bought.
55. I have obsessive compulsive disorder.. only in my kitchen and living room.
56. A mess living room and kitchen will INSTANTLY fire me up and ruin my day. Talk about SUPER BITCH!! its rather puzzling.
57. I once coerced a boyfriend into an online chat scam so I could catch him "trying" to cheat on me... well uhm with me.. I got him though girls!!
58. I love the sun.
59. I am HOLY in my prime... YEAH BABY!!
60. Ashley Judd.. yeah I like'er... her so purty an wholesome lookin'
61. Nicholas Cage makes me wanna punch him. I CANT STAND him!! dunno why!!
62. I am embarrassed to work out, more now that I lost 80lbs!!?? WTF!!
63. Beetles SCARE me to PIECES!!!
64. I don't wear ANY make-up.. never have
65. I always look in the car next to me when I am driving.
66. I have purposely wrecked into someone because he pissed me off.. YES purposely.. NO not an ex or anyone I knew..
67. I donned a Dorothy Hamill for years as a child.
68. I have a HIGH pain tolerance, I would much rather deal with pain that "just" happens than deal with pain inflicted by a doctor or from something predetermined.. Hence my ears aren't pierced.. YOU GO OPRAH!!
69..... Which brings me to, I wont do it... its to vulnerable of a position!!
70. I love Oprah, everything about her in fact. I wanna be like O.
71. I don't take advice, I do what I want.
72. I truly envy my brother.
73. Family is the most important thing in life. My heart aches for people that die lonely.

Who da thunk it. I feel so naked!

Prickly pairs

A pure moment of FRUSTRATION!!

Nothing hacks me off like shaving for NO REASON!!

I can handle sleeping with me and my prickly pairs. So when I am solo I dont shave for days on end. When I am GIVEN an indication there could be room for interaction, friction, mattress dancing whatever you refer to it as, I dart as fast as I can to the shower for some personal "quickly shave, build up the pysche and tone down" time before I nonchalantly prance to my bedroom to read(I hear its seductive).

DAMN!!! I HATE that flippin internet!! Can we reverse back to the early 90's when it cost us per minute to use the F'n net?? Someday I will disconnect our internet service and act like I had nothing to do with it!!

Screen Cleaner

This is provided by our IT team.

Screen Cleaner

Curiosity killed the cat

I am an overly curious person. Don't mistake my curiosity as need and desire.

My high school crush... whoa BIG TIME.. like Miss Know it all I had the "weak knee, heart racing to the point I sometimes nearly cried" crush too. I was a serious mess, He was always so kind to me, spent a lot of time with me and my family, who wouldn't have thought he was perfect. He was liked by most and quite handsome I thought.. His "grill" was nice, he was always looking straight, I mean what's not to like.. LOL I'm kidding Sheri! He was a perfect gentleman at homecoming. Thanksgiving with the family. Hot mama LOVED him too (his nick name for my mom). He was gone one day. He didn't return to school, His aunt called me looking for him as he had often times stayed over at the "Nears", He wasn't here, I was worried, she was worried and hot mama was worried. Where in the world did he go?? I finally got the call, I remember preparing for the evening with Rocky as it was her birthday and she was in fact my best friend. He wanted to apologize and tell me "what's up". He decided to move to Cali to cut Christmas trees and load them on trucks with one of his uncles, then when the season has dried up he is heading for boot camp... I swear that was the last day of my innocent teenage life. I was a more than a mess I was totally HEARTBROKEN!! I waited and waited for cards and letters, I sat by the phone sometimes. I got 1 letter every 2 weeks from him. I ran home most days in case they came early and cried myself to sleep when they weren't there.
I got married in 1994, He called my mom in 1995 she gave him my number and address, he showed up on my doorstep, we spent the day reminiscing and laughing, I was STILL in love with this guy! At 31 now, I still have these letters, there is about 40 of them in airmail red white and blue envelopes all tied together with a rose he had given me for homecoming. He set my bar for love. I was madly madly in love with the boy!! Where is he today? He lives in New York, he went to West Point Academy (at least that's what he said) He was married the last time we spoke 5 years ago. I'm sure he is still HOT!!

Monique and Corrine Sutton, These girls lived in the same apartment complex as my family in like 1982. I just remember Monique was about a year older than me and Corrine was a year or so younger than me. I still have a picture of them sitting on a green transformer cover box with my sister Shawna. Corrine was wearing purple cords and a white tee with the sparkling rainbow applique on the front. Who are they now?

College Golfer boy, He was my post high school real boyfriend. I didn't really like him until well after we were dating. He was a few years older than me and was into the drinking and hanging with his buddies scene. But eventually I fell into the hard crush and want stage with him. We spent every Wednesday together, we went to a movie and dinner. He spent countless nights at my house, we spent countless hours watching movies and at least twice a week we went golfing, he taught me a lot. Towards the end of our relationship I was pulling out all the stops to be with him, I bought him Fred Meyer Challenge tickets thinking we would go together... NOPE he took his friend. His mom hated me, I wasn't the shining star from the burbs she would have hoped for for her precious only child. I mean I hated hummus and pepperoncinis weren't high on my list of pickled peppers oh and I wasn't into smoking pot. So it didn't work out, but I desperately wanted to keep in touch with him, I liked him. I talked to him just about 6 months ago or so, he is well and successful, married and happy!

These are the people I am most curious about.

Do I stay or do I go now...

As I had mentioned a week or so ago...

The burbs are now out of the question, closing was to be tomorrow, earnest has been returned and D has LAID it out "We are not moving to the burbs... SORRY" DUDE!!! its not about the burbs.. Its ALL about the investment potential and to be able to live comfortably for the next couple of years.

The word in the house now is PDX... D wants to move home now. He went home last week, looking for property, looking through the neighborhoods we want to be in and comparing the investment values...

FINE!! PERFECT!! GREAT I am over joyed...ERRRR yeah right im no dummy.. Proof is in the puddin baby. Lets sign the note THEN I will pack!! Lets sign the note then I will cry with joy and start dreaming about paint colors...

Why I want to go home:
My kids and family...DUH!!
D's family
Organized cycling like the Bridge pedal, Midsummers night ride, STP
Best beer in US!!
Hour to the beach and Hour to the Mountain
Seattle day trips
Vancouver BC weekend
Hiking galore
Trees
Rivers
Lakes
I know where I am going
The gorge amphitheatre


These are some of my favorite things.. when the dog bites when the bee stings.. oh sorry I was singing the sound of music.. its probably not that joyous, I will have to work upon my return.. CRAP!! Lu?? You need an assistant? I LOVE GOLFING!!!

Phoenix needs me!!

I know that I am only one person and it will takes MUCH MUCH more than me. Its also going to take the work of the possible victims.

I have a huge heart for people that suffer. I know the argument can be they need to help themselves too. VERY right.

In Phoenix homeless and elderly are dropping off like unneeded flies! I am overwhelmed with grief. I hate the idea that these people are dying from heat exaustion and noone knows their names even. Sad, sad, sad!

I NEVER give money. But without thought I will (no matter how late I can be for my own function) turn around to the nearest store for a gallon of cold water and crackers and hand it to someone that can use it. When my kids went to Holy Cross the school designated 1 day a month for the kids to do something "out of the ordinary for others", By my slight persuasion my kids chose to make a meal or give their leftovers (from a restraunt) to a homeless person. My kids were beside themselves with pride and guilt at the same time.

Phoenix, I guess in my mind I am wondering if there is just at least one company that could spend $100 to buy water and pass it out to people that need it. The airport employees better known as rampers working out in the sweltering heat taxi-ing the aircraft in... This is CRAZY. The crazy thing is yes Phoenix is the bastard of firey infernos but there are crazy records being set all over the country.

Today is Sunday, the kids are here and UNBELIEVABLY moaning about not having anything to do and complaining that they have to stay in the house... its nearly 1pm and already 100. So we sat down and talked about the homeless and decided we are heading to walmart to buy 20 gallons of water, my girlfriend is doing the same with her kids. We are heading to a local park where the only trees in Denver seemingly reside, and we are passing out the jugs with wash clothes for each. I know that I am only one person but what I do does count and will help some and undoubtedly be appreciated by someone even if it is just me and my kids.

I wont go back through my post and reread and correct, so sorry if I rambled and made no sense!! I've got to get my leotard on fasten my cape and save the day... da da daa...LOL

Suspicious I am...

So as I mentioned previously, I finally decided to turn my wedding ring in to cash. It only has bad memories for me and I dont want to pass that along to my daughter so I snapped my (strangely pretty thin nice looking.. I get more compliments on my hands than any other part of me... maybe people are just trying HARD to be nice?? anyhow) Fingers and poof it was bid on!! I posted my AD on craigslist in hopes someone wouls proudly wear it not knowing its history and I could proudly shop on it knowing its history!! YEAH BABY!!! Momma is goin' shoppin!!!

So anyhow, I get this email and the man says I will buy it sight unseen.. YEAH your not fooling me pal whats up?? He wanted no pictures, no info just wants to send me a check and me send "the goods" tells me he works in Chicago at a medical facility but is currently touring his african and european offices.. OK fine.. I will do my homework while I patiently await my 2 day shopping spree fundage...

Lets see.. there is no D. Claus that works at said medical facility, there is no "offices" in africa or europe... So I then decide I need to play stupid because I am SO LOOKING FORWARD to shopping with an uninhibited desire!! I mean can you imagine spending 3 grand on yourself in one day?? after all that man put me through in 2002 at least I get to spend all the dough on me!! I write him back and ask for details on the shipment, he then tells me...LOLOLOL "my rep always send too much money so when you get the money orders please just deposit back into my eco card account" DING DING DING... dumbass you picked the wrong chick to try to pull one over on, not only am I NOT stupid enough to send you the "goods" without true and honest funds but I am certainly not stupid enough to cash your possibly fraudulant money orders into my meegerly positive checking account and wire transfer you the "excess".. HAHAHA..

If anyone is interested in reading one of these scams go to scambaiters these stories are hilarious and great revenge for these MASSIVE nigerian thieves!! I laughed for almost an hour at some of the crap they were pulling...

Anyhow I will report next week on my possible scam!!

Meet Bunky my funky unky...

These faces crack me up!! Thanks Sheri!! They are so expressive and kinda look like me!!

I love'm. I could seriously just post an unky daily and not have to blog.

Thanks Unky people!!

Tropiglo Flower

Tropiglo flower

Last year D and I traveled to DC. I liked it. In fact I loved it. I was absolutly fascinated by the botanical garden there. One evening the while the sun was going down the clouds were moving out, I saw superman. This cloud was unmistakingly Superman, his cape was waving, his right arm stretched out in flight right above the White House.

Juan De Fuca

McRebeck

This was the first extension bridge we had come to in our 2 day 18 mile hike. This was only about 2/3 of a mile into the hike so I was still alive and well. My pack was 40+ pounds and a bitch on my back.

I made it with out complaint!

Un FUCKING believable!!!!!!!!!!!!

How does one SCREAM in a blog????

I sincerly feel like the worlds biggest jackass!!

HE CHANGED HIS FUCKING MIND AGAIN!!! I cant take it, I swear. I am literally 2 seconds from falling apart.

HOLY HELL!! Just when I thought all was safe and sound, YANK!! there goes the damned rug AGAIN!! I had my boxes out, we were closing in a week!! I changed my address at work.

He stopped the transaction. He JUST doesnt want to live 13 miles from what he likes best, even if its only 3 years, even if he is only home 3 days a week, even if its new and needs no work, even if it has $30K equity, even if he put $4k down and paid for an appraisal and a lock fee!!

HE PULLED THE PLUG!!

Sorry, I am frustrated, upset, confused and TIRED AS HELL!!

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Making a house my Home

Ok all...
We have finally made a decision. We sat down and wrote down the pros and cons to each property.

Both of us said the cons for the burbs are not being close in to the activities and doings that we love and gas money higher taxes.

Cons to the little house in the city... 800 sqft, have to buy all new appliances and needs TLC left and right.

Pros to the Burbs... New no work needed, equity, 2100 sqft.

Pros to cute house in the city... smaller pmt, close in, 1/2 block from popular park.

I spoke to Brent last night and as you said racquel he and I are on the same page. INVESTMENT INVESTMENT INVESTMENT then comfort.

I cant wait to go home to Portland, I cant wait until we get to house hunt for what we WANT all around! D's parents own a house on NE Schuyler in the grant park/lloyd district. Its an old victorian and it has been 100% refinished from the inside out all original except the technology of course, but we love it. We dont want something quite so big but we would love to refinish something like it someday, I look forward to coming home more and more.

Thanks for all your comments and advice.

I think I can, I know I can...

I am a pretty decisive person.

I make decisions pretty quickly unless it involves mathematics and I need to "run the numbers" or if I am making a strategic decision of course.

D on the other hand CAN NOT make a decision to SAVE HIS LIFE!! We are in the 3rd week of waiting to close because he has not come to a decision on whether he really wants to buy the suburban digs. As y'all or most of you know D and I are both from Portland, born and raised, met there love it there and will go home with in the next 2-5 years. With that being said, I feel we should JUST buy an investment here, albeit and investment we can live in comfortably. So the Suburban cookie cutter with 30K equity already seemed like a clear choice. However its not our lifestyle, we like to be near parks and quaint little restraunts (I can NEVER spell this damn word) and walking distance to libraries and events and so on... like the lloyd district!! Ok so the new house is 14 miles out and in the middle of literally NOTHING. Its a new golfcourse community, our house is only 1 of 3 out of about 400 new homes, I thought was a plus myself.

Ok so anyhow, we are getting ready close and he is nearly CRYING that he just doesnt want to compromise our QUALITY of life, which I understand completly, but we arent so far aaway that we cant drive our bikes in for a day and ride to these new eateries and library and the parks!!

Then he gets gung ho and says yeah your right lets just buy it and sell it in a few years go home and buy what we WANT!!

Then the cycle pulls through again.

Whats a girl to do? Im afraid he will be this way about marriage too!!! Actually I know he is!

So I am frustrated and confused AGAIN!!

I think (seriously) confusion scares me to death. I hope that doesnt mean I am controlling.

D and I

Ok so I fell asleep last night thinking about my previous post about D and I.

My conclusion, yes sheri you are right I need to be thankful for who I have. I am guessing its more of a fear than not being thankful at this point.

Marriage... Although I am a divorcee it means alot to me. I want to marry the man that I promise to spend the rest of my life with loving respecting wanting helping and being happy with. And I want the same from him.

D is great, as previously mentioned he is my best friend and he makes me very happy. But like any person in the world he has his downfalls. Thats my unconditional part, even though he doesn't buy cards or flowers or birthday presents on my birthday im actually cool with that (mostly) and I wouldn't leave him for that.

OK SO I ADMIT I am terribly jealous!!! This is my big issue!! My fear of repeat.

I won't try to justify it... BUT I have been through a HORRIBLE experince and I have some anxieties now days. I agree with alot of people it isnt D's job or duty to stroke my fears with commitment, I have tried several methods to "release the demon" or this burden and just move on. I have been 90% successful. I just have to kick the last 10% of it, and im guessing it should be soon!!

Keeping up with the joneses

I undoubtedly love D. He is 100% my best friend, I am who I am and always should have been with him. I love him MOSTLY unconditionally... of course I WONT tolerate cheating nor will I forgive if ever it should happen.

We have been talking about our future and where we each want it to go and common goals and blah blah blah. We are so very on the same page... SWEEEEEEET!!!

Ok but, I can't help but to do my little pros and cons test, and I cant help but to compare and analyze and overthink... I KNOW SHERI!! but I cant help it, it just happens. I need more vitamins I think...lol

My great guy is a great pilot too. He loves his career, he loves his duty. He is no 9-5'er. I hate it. For a while I thought bitchen'... I have all this independence, I come and go as I please, I have learned to live alone for the first time and still have him. Ok good and well and all... but things are turning into "suburbia" My honey doesn't come home after work tonight, I am eating alone again. I am thinking I don't like it anymore. I miss him. I hate sleeping alone 4 nights a week. I hate that he works weekends and I DONT!! I hate that he is home during the day during the week while i'm working. I have to mow the lawn while busy bettys husband acrossed the street mows her lawn as she is cooking him dinner!!

Can I do it? can I live like that again? Sure I love him but I need to be happy and fulfilled. I cant blame him, he has been in the industry WAY before me. I wouldnt never ever ask him to choose either.

Why have all the men in my life been non traditional?

And besides buddy passes SUCK!!!!!!!!

craigslist

I love it.

I love craigslist for alot of things.

When im bored and need a good laugh I read missed connections or the OBSURD ads on one gender lookng for another or one gender looking for the same gender or Horndogs looking for a hookup anywhere they can get it... ICK!

Mostly I use craigslist to find good deals like concert tickets, furniture, free fill dirt or free gravel for my NEW YARD!! I have found events and cheap bikes for my kids..

I recently posted on craigslist... I have been in Denver for over a year and have made little to know friends.. So I posted an ad to build a group of gals to play Bunco a dice game that requires 12 players.. So I did and none of knew each other and we mer last month for our first game... It was fun and exciting to meet all the ladies my age-ish and learn about them and hang out, drink and eat and laugh.

I also posted my wedding ring. I decided its no longer needed accept for the money. It has no meaning and I wouldnt dream of giving something with no meaning to my daughter like everyone thinks I should.. Its gotta bring home the bacon baby!!

Anyhow go check it out www.craigslist.org or you can type in www. (your city).craigslist.org