The past is always so present

I am trying to be really strong and really big these days.

I swear every curve ball is streaming RIGHT AT ME! ARGHHHHH!! No wonder people do stupid things.

In the last 60 days I have been drug through hell and back. Im still standing and im strong with weak tendencies!

-March 14th I moved out into my VERY OWN place! Scary and good
-Marchish D and I decided we would work on us apart, we have so much love for each other yet so much resentment and confusion.
-April 8th D failed to tell me he met someone and was carrying on a "relationship" with her, coupled with the stratling facts that she is young and not his typical eye catcher, I was taken WAY back and blown away, I felt like the day when I saw my husband fully engaged in an affair, I was torn to pieces.
-Aprlish I was told Sasas time is so limited I should come home and see her, I did this.
-May still dealing with the D situation and tring to accept that he screwed me over to screw someone else!! He is in and out of my life like a cancer.. he loves me one minute and hates me the next, he calls me and texts me and apologizes then tells me to piss up a rope! CONFUSION!!
-Mayish I meet someone I really enjoy but not looking to get terribly involved. D ruins that too!!
May 15th I get THE phone call!! Am calls crying... its Melissa for sure, I knew she was gone. NO ITS MY UNCLE Tom!! Amys dad passed in his sleep. WTF seriously I cant take anymore!

I am digging for the sanity!! I am so sentimental and thoughtful its hard for me to walk away from things. But I HAVE TO MAKE this a very concious effort to extract D from my life like a poison he is destroying me from the inside out!!

GREAT NEWS though!!! I have lost ANOTHER 30 lbs!! I am back to high school size and feeling very good about it!!