Keeping up with the joneses

I undoubtedly love D. He is 100% my best friend, I am who I am and always should have been with him. I love him MOSTLY unconditionally... of course I WONT tolerate cheating nor will I forgive if ever it should happen.

We have been talking about our future and where we each want it to go and common goals and blah blah blah. We are so very on the same page... SWEEEEEEET!!!

Ok but, I can't help but to do my little pros and cons test, and I cant help but to compare and analyze and overthink... I KNOW SHERI!! but I cant help it, it just happens. I need more vitamins I think...lol

My great guy is a great pilot too. He loves his career, he loves his duty. He is no 9-5'er. I hate it. For a while I thought bitchen'... I have all this independence, I come and go as I please, I have learned to live alone for the first time and still have him. Ok good and well and all... but things are turning into "suburbia" My honey doesn't come home after work tonight, I am eating alone again. I am thinking I don't like it anymore. I miss him. I hate sleeping alone 4 nights a week. I hate that he works weekends and I DONT!! I hate that he is home during the day during the week while i'm working. I have to mow the lawn while busy bettys husband acrossed the street mows her lawn as she is cooking him dinner!!

Can I do it? can I live like that again? Sure I love him but I need to be happy and fulfilled. I cant blame him, he has been in the industry WAY before me. I wouldnt never ever ask him to choose either.

Why have all the men in my life been non traditional?

And besides buddy passes SUCK!!!!!!!!