I think I can, I know I can...
I am a pretty decisive person.
I make decisions pretty quickly unless it involves mathematics and I need to "run the numbers" or if I am making a strategic decision of course.
D on the other hand CAN NOT make a decision to SAVE HIS LIFE!! We are in the 3rd week of waiting to close because he has not come to a decision on whether he really wants to buy the suburban digs. As y'all or most of you know D and I are both from Portland, born and raised, met there love it there and will go home with in the next 2-5 years. With that being said, I feel we should JUST buy an investment here, albeit and investment we can live in comfortably. So the Suburban cookie cutter with 30K equity already seemed like a clear choice. However its not our lifestyle, we like to be near parks and quaint little restraunts (I can NEVER spell this damn word) and walking distance to libraries and events and so on... like the lloyd district!! Ok so the new house is 14 miles out and in the middle of literally NOTHING. Its a new golfcourse community, our house is only 1 of 3 out of about 400 new homes, I thought was a plus myself.
Ok so anyhow, we are getting ready close and he is nearly CRYING that he just doesnt want to compromise our QUALITY of life, which I understand completly, but we arent so far aaway that we cant drive our bikes in for a day and ride to these new eateries and library and the parks!!
Then he gets gung ho and says yeah your right lets just buy it and sell it in a few years go home and buy what we WANT!!
Then the cycle pulls through again.
Whats a girl to do? Im afraid he will be this way about marriage too!!! Actually I know he is!
So I am frustrated and confused AGAIN!!
I think (seriously) confusion scares me to death. I hope that doesnt mean I am controlling.
posted by McRebeck @ 8:43 AM
4 Comments
4 Comments:
hmm...I am NO relationship expert by any means, but I'd be kinda scared of the fear of commitment thing.
If you want to buy the place there are ways for you to get it by yourself. Compromise or not compromise?...neighborhood, what he wants, what you want, etc. Im sure you'll figure it out
Ahh...for every ying there is a yang. I am the biggest committment phobe. Dude... 7 years of dating, still a renter. But it's your life. And it is his life. Must they join on every level at all time? Big decisions? I'm a "go with your gut" type... and if I were buying a cookie cutter 14 miles from anything, I'd be crying too.
Sorry. But keep pushing the investment angle, and it's not like he's going to be buried there... and you should be alright.
And lack of committment does NOT mean lack of love or appreciation. You just have to communicate what you want and need, and see if he can meet the terms. YOU GET ONE LIFE remember? And, therefore, so does he.
I have never known compromise like I do today.
Buying this house would also be a compromise for me. I don't want to be 15 miles from work, I hate the plains, I want to walk to shops and eateries.
I love clarity. If I dont know I figure it out or I ask. I dont have that choice with this task. Mr I have to research EVERY thing to the bloody ass bone isn't thoroughly convinced, and I wont do that. I want him to be as comfortable with all decisions as I am and vice versa.
I think im impatient also... LOL
Well you are certainly not locked into anything by purchasing. However, having lived both in the burbs and in the city, I have to say that I love all the conveniences of being so close to everything.
If you don't get it this time, doesn't mean you won't ever have it. Brent would probably be the first one to tell you to look at it from an investment angle and if it looks good, go for it!
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