What happen to little girls

Somedays I just love Oprah.... not so much her anymore but the topics and her guests (when they get a chance to speak)

Todays topic was young girls and their percecption of themselves. OH MY GOD!!! I was in tears, afraid and DISGUSTED!! 16 year olds saying they have had up to 8 partners, girls crying because they feel ugly or fat or dumber than friends. NO self esteem and NO activities to keep them busy!

When I was 13.. I didn't have a care in the world except playing softball... clothes?? who cares as long as they fit, are clean and no one will laught at me for wearing them.. COOL!!

At 15 I was changing akwardly into a young lady.. boobs that popped out like torpedos and a changing face and voice.. YUCK!! But still playing ball. I lucked out and never had acne, I had a great group of friends, yet I wasn't as cool as them fashion wise... I don't recall caring or trying to fit in that way anyway.. except the one time racquel I think or maybe sheri bought me a "babydoll" dress meant to be worn with leggings... HAHA I felt SO weird, like everyone was staring at me and laughing. I did wear the latest and greatest so long as they were guess jeans, shorts or overalls though!! I always had ESprit shirts and bags. Boys were my secret I had crushes and all my girlfriends knew but the boy didn't.

17, was a whole new ara for me, I worked alot. I had a boyfriend and thats when I chose to "give it up" which much to my suprise was late as I was told.. I don't recall it being much later than my friends, just wasn't something we all talked about.

Things are so different these days, girls are older than their age. My 10 year old has had her period!!! GUH!!! She has boobies and talks about boys that like her and her friends that have done things I didn't do until I was much older. She asked to get her hair highlighted and nails done... WHAT?? NO!! say it isn't so!! She wants to shop at American Eagle and Abercrombie!!

I know I may be old fashioned or out of the loop but I still want to dress Emmy, I want to braid her hair and dress her in Gap khakis and a cute little shirt, mary jane shoes and a sweet little backpack. I don't want to supress her I just want her to accept and appreciate the short youth she gets.

They are all growing up to fast, im sad about it!!

Crocodile tears

Some of my toughest times here in Denver are when I miss my family, when I am unable to be there for important things like babies and weddings and funerals and ball games.

My aunt was diagnosed in December with a cancerous brain tumor. She has been going through chemo and radiation the last couple of months. Her daughter (my cousin) had a baby in late february. I havent been home to see her since the news broke. I miss my whole family but right now I miss her. No less than at least once a day I think about her, about christmas at her house, about her smiles and friendly demeanor, how all the kids love her and call her sasa, I think about my uncle and the devastation he will feel if he loses her, about my cousins and the pain in their hearts. It sometimes overcomes me and I bawl about it for hours. My family is whole with her and I cant imagine it without her.

My dad was out to visit a few weeks ago... that in itself was hard. I saw my dad looking frail and tired. It scared me and made me sad. I noticed a light constant shake in his head and hands, his handwritting was obviously shaky which is a HUGE downturn from his very steady drafters hand writting. He was very confused. I didnt know what to think. Just hugged him!

My brother is (fingers crossed) coming home by Thanksgiving. My mom and older brother have been negotiating with the attorney and the state on the case and we may get to have him home for christmas this year!!

I get alot of days where I am here alone at least for half the day. I like to use these days to reflect and kind of meditate in my own little world. So this is what I do... I think about my family, I call them, I catch up, I scrapbook and I blog (seperatly).

What to do:

This is the Slide jump... the worst part of the whole training course is having to jump down this slide.

I finally have a DAY OFF!!!

I have been in training since February 6th, All my time has been overly occupied!! My dad flew out to Denver for a couple of days right in the middle of my training, I didn't get to spend much time with him. None the less it was nice to see him!

I am technically done with training now. All classroom activities are done!! WOOOHOOO!! It is very VERY challengining to be cooped up in a closed room with 32 other people I barely know all with different personalities. Some likable some not so much. We all passed and have been released to do our IOE, which is essentially our first flight on our own doing all the duties we have been taught. THANKFULLY we will have a "check flight attendant" there to guide a little and make sure we are performing safely and accepting the pressures accordingly.

Then when IOE is complete I am done, I am a Flight attendant and will be working everyday that they call me!!

My kids will be here for 10 days in 2 weeks and my sister is coming next weekend. My mom is coming for a few days. CRAZYINESS!!

With my DAY OFF I need to:

Go buy a GREAT pair of black pumps
Buy my kids Christmas gifts (I know.. a little late)
Buy my boog his 8th birthday present
Costco for.. GAS.. pictures (which I transmitted online and just have to pick up!!LOVE IT) and return my Canon power shot SD450 and pick up my new Canon PowerShot SD550.. YIPPEE!!
Take my uniforms to the tailor
Old Navy for a shopping spree
Lego store for another boog present

Then I HAVE TO CLEAN!!! and study a little for IOE!!

Like to be busy BUT!!! I cant wait for the slow down!