Only the lonely

What the hell was I thinking?

I knew what I was getting into! I knew that coming out here would/could get lonely, Im not so much of a loner but I prefer smaller circles of friends. I have lived here a little over a year I haven't made any real significant friends to speak of.

I am having surgery, a pretty significant one and I pretty much have to go it alone. That hasn't ever been in my handbook of life, I have a big family and a decent circle of friends.

D and are at a crossroads and I am going at it alone, im not used to being alone. I have never been alone. Its a whole new world out here, not having my family scattered around various corners. Not being able to hop in my car, run to a girlfriends house and hang out.

This experience has been amazing for me, I have learned a certain independence and learned that I CAN do it. BUT DAMN cant I have SOMEONE??

What doesn't KILL me makes me stronger this I KNOW!!