When the end is so close yet SO far away

I wish I was one of those people that could JUST LET GO! Buh-BYE!

I was really hoping that my move would be a clean break and a thanks for stopping by my life but im thinking it wont be as easy as I hoped!

I dont physically move until the 14th of March which seems like a light year away. I know when the actual day comes though I will be sad and confused.

Its all good and I know this, we aren't great together hell we aren't really even that good together. Its so very time... when every connecting thread is snapped, there are NO happy days and no quality anything. The unfortunate thing is there has been SO MUCH mental and sometimes verbal abuse I am ashamed. Im a really strong person and I let this happen for some reason.

I look forward to this time to myself and my kids and my friends.

A big girl now.

I jumped ship!

After 4 years.. err well 32 years I am moving out on my OWN!!! Who'da thunk it??!

D and I haven't been GREAT so I have decided to move out and live alone. I am SO SO excited and very very sad! All these emotions that are from one end of the spectrum to the other is draining and fatiguing. We are hoping to maintain AT LEAST a friendship... Ultimatly we are hoping to understand each other and learn whether we are really meant to be one thing or the other.

I had status quo for nearly 10 years. I want GREAT now I want what I want and I dont need to feel bad about that. I know relationships aren't easy but I dont believe you should have to work SO hard for contentment.

Its been exciting buying all my own stuff and decorating the way I WANT to. To hang pictures of my choosing where I want to, picking my colors and putting things where I want them. I am most excited about leaving my home and returning to find it the same way I left it. I also get to watch whatever I want and the TIVO wont be monopolized with history and war movies and how airplanes work.

I will miss a warm body. Someone to cook for and eat with... My best friend. Bike rides and movies and someone to talk to for no reason.

So I got a little 1 bedroom apartment in a GREAT neighborhood of Denver. Its new and clean, access controlled so a bit safer for a single woman being alone. I move in just a couple of weeks!

I am working alot to afford some new furniture and decorations... not to mention every little thing from TP to linens to food. ALLLLL NEW!