Welcome to Tempe

"Watch out for the roaches, YES I now they are large mam just watch out for them."
" NO they dont bite, Just watch out for them. PLEASE dont step on them!"

" Are they the state animal? why not step on them? and why do I have to tip toe throught the damn airport incase there is a roach doped up on miracle grow with in my next step."

Whatever. I HATE ANYTHING that remotely resembles a BEETLE!!

The kids and I got into Sky hag around 10am saturday morning, we patiently waited to deboard our free flight to HELL until EVERYONE was off the plane. We even waited for the sleepers to be jolted awake by my daughter SCREACHING at her brother... "DOOOOOOOOOONT".

My day started with the anxiety of being a stand by passenger with 2 kids, 2 very bored, I have been through this routine and I am a preteen with a tudy tude kids... We get on the flight.. wooo hooo!!!

AMW notes:
Cpt looks like he WONT fit behind the "wheel" he is about 5'5" a GOOD 300 lbs, his glasses are thick and square and large like Phyllis Dillers. He seems to be breathing heavely.. Im nervous.

First Officer appears to be fesh out of... 9th grade. He has more pimples than my entire senior class, I think they were even on his fingers. Big bright toothy smile. Happy to be a pilot.

FA1: We named her Hortencia. Jet black hair to her knees, no bangs. Bright red lipstick. Pale witch like skin. Boog was scared of her. She spoke deep and frankly.

FA2: We named her Luquandreea. Boog appropriatly chose this name as she was IN CHARGE! "Y'all, Sit down nah. Hush up and hear up"... "Nahs im juss jukin". The booty matched the tude, "Serr, yous best set down. My cappan aint fudda tek off if alls is jumpin round da jet nah".. My son was CRACKING up... She asked him to "hush up nah" twice. She danced at one point. She gave her "rendition" of the flight deck rules and regulations...

My personal observation of my AMW flights is that Mesa Airlines doesn't SEEM to take pride in there "point man" most of the flight attendants are much less than traditional. I like to see the diversity but I also like to see paying customers be treated like this flight cost them 200 to 400 bucks. If I were a paying customer on these flights and I were talked to the way some of the FA's have been talking to people, I would probably be carted off by TSA.

The kids and I spent the day in PHX. We finally visited Ikea, this was my main reason for taking the earlier flight.

IKEA... what a place. Inexpensive in comparison to the OVERLY inflated cost of most shopping experiences. But what a friggen mad house. And why did they make the damn store a maze? I walked circles but these circles never go us back to point A. These circles led us straight to the cafeteria. Ok so the cafeteria, pretty good, well priced and kept the kids happy. Ikea was an experience. Maybe I shouldnt have gone on a saturday though.

IKEA parking lot. First off im not happy because I was forced into a maze of humans and cheap shit I couldnt buy because I couldnt get it home and my kids wanted everything. secondly im not happy because the Ford Focus I was supposed to be driving wasn't really a Ford Focus but a Kia Rio... and it was burnt orange!! I parked next to a fellow burnt orange vehicle, hoping they would be nice and not ding this shitty ass little rental because of course I would be charge for the price of the WHOLE car like $8995.00 or something. Kids and I retreat to ugly little freebie car and its so hot inside you can see the heat settling in the car. So I open the doors which of course are all manual because its a shitty car. And I turn on the AC to get it pumping.. OH and I had to manually roll down the F'n windows because AGAIN its a shitty freebie. I told the kids not to get in the car for fear I would be taken to bad mother jail. The women in the fellow ugly car starts hinking at me!!?? WTF bitch?? I look at her like whats your deal wench?? She doesnt bother to automatically roll her windows down but she YELLS obsenities at me through her very tightly sealed windows... I ask boog if he had dinged her car or something.. he says no! He and I are standing between her ugly car and my ugly car.. She starts pulling out as my son is standing there, then gets some courage to crack a window down and calls me a "BITCH"!! A passerby says "Welcome to Tempe" another says "people are crazy round here". Boog and I stand there like what the hell is going on here?? we turn around, he gets in the car and I start to. Crazy bitch comes squeeling in reverse, gets out of her car comes over to me NOSE to NOSE!! and says "YOU RUINED MY DAY"... I said "If you dont get out of my face and get back in your car I promise you I will make your day WORSE" the first passerby comes over to us as if to break it and tells the lunatic she is just that and to go away before he arrests her... She went away.

And it was HELLA HOT!!

Welcome to Tempe!!