Come together right now... Faithfully.

I just returned from an emergency trip back home to Portland.

On my merry way to my first day on the new job I witnessed a HORRIBLE accident. I left the scene thinking to myself.. A. HOW HORRIBLE!! The families will be devistated B. SHIT the families will be even more devistated, its the holidays. and C. I feel very lucky... I have a HUGE family and things like unexpected tragic losses DONT happen to us.

I got the call on tuesday. I left for Portland thursday night, as soon as I was told "you need to come home".

My aunt is only 48, she is a grandmother to 1 and 1 on the way. My cousins are both in their 20's still, one recently married the other not even thinking about it.

Wednesday she had brain surgery where they removed the cyst incased tumor and notified the family it is malignant (cancer) and that it is progressive and will diminish any quality of life from this point forward. Surgeon says 9-12 months with the disclaimer "I am only the surgeon, you will need confirmation from the oncologist".

The news, is DEVASTATING!! Our family is SO strong, but our knee caps can only take so much. After my brother was diagnosed with cancer 3 years ago, I thought we had had our fair share of heartache. After my other brother was sent to prison for 7 years for being an "accomplice" I thought wow we are a strong family and can get through anything. We are proving to be so strong, not a dry eye in the house... in fact the sobbing was in unison, almost a melody.

I kind of feel empty and emotionless, I am spent and so sad there are NO MORE tears in me. I watched a kid trip and fall on his face at the airport tonight.. he smacked his nose and bloodied it. Usually I am all mom and get the "hewp" and jump up to the plate.. I just wheeled my roller bag right around him and kepta goin'.

I was so overwhelmed I had to leave Portland and am glad to be back in Denver, in my peace and quiet.

I just dont know what to think.